I struggle when I don’t get enough sleep. Not consistently though, frustratingly. Sometimes sleep deprivation leaves me focused and energized. But eventually it almost always leads to the same place: fuzzy, distracted, and emotionally volatile.
I feel very self conscious writing anything about the importance of sleep, not only because it’s something I consistently sabotage for myself, but because it also feels so self-evident. Don’t we all know we need sleep? Isn’t that book my friend Lindsey gave me on “The Importance of Sleep” pointless? It’s clearly vital, we don’t need a book on it let alone a silly Substack post.
And yet…
The longest I ever stayed awake in one go was 49 hours, and I do not recommend it. It was 2006 and I started my journey in Bavaria, southern Germany. I had caught a night train ride to Florence, Italy, where my flight to Portland, Oregon awaited. I was new to international travel, this being my first time in Europe, but I had already figured out that staying awake for the duration of my trip was the trick to beating jet lag.
What I hadn’t accounted for was that not all legs of a journey are necessarily made equal. I should have slept on the night train.
Instead, I read. I’d picked up the full Lord of the Rings trilogy in a single paperback. I figured there was no better time to crash through it. I got up as usual that morning and then stayed awake all night on the train. I was already a bit loopy by the time I got to my Florentine flight which, vexingly, had a layover in Frankfurt. I’d asked if I could just meet the plane in Frankfurt. I had been told, “Nein.”
I stayed awake on the flights as well. When I landed in Portland, I’d been awake for over 40 hours. I found my car, parked near a friend’s place, and hit the road for my final destination: Pullman, Washington. Thankfully that remained my final destination as I began hallucinating after nightfall.
I remember seeing polar bears running alongside the car. Orcish ramblings ran through my mind. Paranoia. I was convinced the headlights behind me had been behind me for a little… too? long? I pulled over for a desperate roadside bathroom break, diving into my car and checking for murderers in the backseat before speeding down the highway. Tunnel vision. Flashes of places I recognized.
I blacked out.
And then I pulled into my parents’ driveway in Pullman, 49 hours later, safe and sound. Everyone got up, gave me a hug, and sent me to bed. I woke up fresh in the morning. I don’t think I’ve ever beat jetlag so quickly.
I also don’t know that I’ve ever been at such a high risk of driving straight off the highway at 65mph and into a barn.
The point is, we all get it. Sleep is kind of important. But the nuance of it is consistency. If I’m not getting up at the same time, going to bed (at least most of the time) at the same time, there’s a reduction in quality. That reduction then affects my mood, my energy, my work. It sucks because I like staying up. I’m a bit of a night owl. I’ll stay up for one more episode… read one more chapter. But this is like drinking: moderation is your friend and when you overindulge your risk of hangover goes through the roof, and that will cost you.
If I’ve learned anything it’s that getting consistent and generous amounts of sleep makes my life so much better. If I have anything left to learn, it’s to stick to the discipline of sleep with a bit more rigor.
Oh, also, I’ve learned that operating a motor vehicle after 40 hours awake is not for me.
This is a special series for Jay’s 40th year. To receive all posts straight to your inbox, be sure to subscribe.
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